A sharp, dark, humorous debut about a teenage commando wannabe who runs amok in a boot camp for juvenile delinquents. Fourteen-year-old Loren is obsessed with all things military: Special Forces, secret missions, rules, and regulations - it's all so finite and orderly. Especially compared to other parts of Loren's life. His mom, for example, keeps introducing him to a string of loser boyfriends, a… nd the latest one, the golf pro, is so irritating that Loren decides to stage a night raid and vandalize his beloved golf course. When the mission goes embarrassingly awry, Loren's mom sends him to 'Camp Ascend!', where a dedicated staff of specialists are trained to whip 'mixed-up' teens back into shape. Or so it seems. What Loren's mom doesn't know - and what Loren soon discovers - is that 'Camp Ascend!' is actually a scam run by an ex-con nicknamed 'the Colonel', his ditzy, overly tanned wife, and her manic, kid-hating brother. And so Loren finally has a real-life mission: to free himself and his new posse of delinquent friends from 'Camp Ascend!' and to take the place down.

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